meitantei_cj: (Conan - No. Just... no.)
2013-08-24 10:48 pm

Ugh.

Mentally and physically feeling like crap today. I've got a sore throat that started last night and has been driving me crazy all day, along with a little bit of general weakness and a huge lack of give-a-fuck. Decided I want to drop the Management Process class I signed myself up for to replace Intro to Business because, as lovely as the professor is, I am not interested in the business world. This might POSSIBLY be a problem if I have to drop Wheel Throwing or if I decide not to go ahead with the thesis project after all.

The thesis project... I'm still unsure I want to go ahead with it. I mean, I do, it would be a great thing to get involved with, I'd get a notation saying I completed an honors thesis, blah, blah, blah. And I have to run T*PU, and I am ridiculously worried about that. I'm not an expert on trans* issues. I'm not saying Liz is an expert, but they were as close to one as I've ever seen. How am I supposed to follow that? Especially with my complete aversion to speaking in front of people. That seriously drops the number of events we can do. I can handle small, informal events like the Tea House, but things where I have to get up in front of a crowd? Yeah, no. Really wishing I'd actually said I didn't feel comfortable being president, like I felt, but as usual I had trouble saying no. I do want people to have an outlet for trans* things. Like, even if events aren't a thing, I want that outlet to exist. AWoL doesn't talk about trans* issues at all even though they're an LGBT club. That's the other thing I need to work on, too. AWoL and T*PU have had years of bad feelings between them. AWoL's old members thought T*PU was trying to upstage them or something. 9_9 I want to collaborate with AWoL on stuff. It's stupid to have a rift between the two clubs, and getting AWoL on our side could really help with the overall image with the rest of the student body.

I have to groom new members of the club, oy. Assuming people join in the first place. Which, if they don't, they don't. Not gonna worry about it. It'll actually be a load off my back. Maybe there could be a small group and we'd just have informal chats, that would totally work. I might make the club be that anyway, with a few events here and there. Like, I want to do Transgender Day of Remembrance. I'm trying to think of a way to do it without turning it into a super-sad thing. I don't want to lecture people on the perils of transpeople. I've been to two of the events here, and both times, Liz was standing in front of everyone spouting off statistics... and people don't want to hear that. It's truth, yes, but it won't grab their attention.

But anyway, the thesis project. I have to construct a calendar with deadlines leading up to the thesis proposal, which needs to be in before Thanksgiving break. I have until September-ish to decide whether or not I'm sticking with my original idea. Donna DID say we could change our minds and not do the project at any point, as she doesn't want our senior year to be super stressful and something we can't handle. I have to meet with her one-on-one on Friday, and I'm going to tell her that if I feel I'm under too much stress, I might have to drop it. Some people work well under stress: That is not me. I shut down when I'm stressed. Overstimulation and all that. I want to crawl into a corner and die. So yeah, if it ends up being a thing, then it's a thing, and I'll handle it the way I need to. That'll drop me below full-time... I'm kind of looking for a one-credit class to keep me in the black, so to speak. There's one class I can join if I want, a comm senior seminar class, but I'm hesitant because A) it's a Monday class and I wanted one day to myself with no obligations, and B) I feel like everyone who goes into that class will know exactly what they want to do with themselves when they graduate.

The thesis has to be like 45 pages, and since mine is a creative project, it's gonna be 45 pages of reflection with some research thrown in. I imagine I need to look at marketing and design things, and there will probably be a focus group in my future. I'm kind of wishing I hadn't responded to the e-mail invitation for the project in the first place.

I'm regretting the cornrows now. I haven't washed my hair since getting them put in because I'm not sure how to go about it. My scalp is itching like a bitch and I just want to take the stupid braids out, to hell with my hands. Waste of $70? Maybe. But it's driving me nuts. Tomorrow when I shower, I might just dunk my head under the water stream for a few seconds. The problem is I can't shampoo it the way I did my loose hair. You're supposed to make a stocking cap and wash with a diluted solution of shampoo and water or something. And it's so freaking LONG. Sophie has a lighter, and I'm really tempted to cut the ends short and have her burn the ends closed. The stylist will probably be annoyed with me (if I show up with my hair still braided), but I don't care.

Anyway. I'm just kind of ranting. I'm tired and need to go to sleep, but I'm not really ready to yet.

I know half this shit is general nervousness because I'm a senior and this is my last year and soon I'll be kicked back out into the world and I've put so much pressure on myself without really realizing it, because I'm stepping out of my comfort zone in at least two areas. I'm also kind of homesick. The year's just started, though, so yeah. I'm gonna be homesick until things pick up.
meitantei_cj: (Default)
2012-09-09 12:02 am
Entry tags:

Stomach virus!

So yeah, I picked up a great case of gastroenteritis at some point this week. Yesterday was the absolute WORST: I spent the entire day weak and shaky, running back and forth to the bathroom (which is thankfully right next to my room--I plan well ^^;), and sometime around 1pm, I had to call security and have them bring me to the nurse, because I couldn't walk there myself even though it's not far. She gave me Zofran and let me rest in their bed for about half an hour, then security dropped me back at the dorm. All in all, I think I threw up three or four times in two days and had no appetite, and couldn't even bring myself to drink anything. The nurse gave me a bottle of grape Gatorade and four popcicles with electrolytes in them. I'm feeling better now, except for the headache I've got, and I'm sort of back and forth on my appetite. I want real food, but at the same time, I don't. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to just wait a little longer before I dive back into actual food. I did make myself a grilled cheese sandwich (just one slice of cheese and no butter, not that I put butter on my grilled cheese sandwiches... Mom doesn't quite get that and calls them choke sandwiches ^^;), so at least I've eaten something. Thought about making another one, but didn't have the motivation to get up and walk across the room, heh.

I missed my last class on Thursday because of this thing, so I'll have to get the assignments I missed. Hoping this doesn't set me back at all. It'd only be like a day, but meh. I really didn't want to skip class, but it's a good thing I did, because during that class was the first vomitting episode.

Whatever this is has been going around campus, and tomorrow I'm going to Weis to get some disinfecting wipes, and I'm wiping down EVERYTHING. I will not get that bug again.

Sleep. I was supposed to post this like an hour ago. Distracted by internet. And the urge to eat something with some FLAVOR won out, and I finished off a small bag of nacho cheese Doritos that I accidentally popped open with my foot yesterday.
meitantei_cj: (Default)
2011-09-22 10:15 pm

(no subject)

I've spent the entire day in my room; the weather/my sinuses/SOMETHING is playing havok with me today. My head's felt like it's been swimming all day. I hit the point where I couldn't sleep anymore, so I'm drawing my elves, because I need practice with them. (So far Ronyo is not being a pain in the ass to draw, which is good. That seems to be more Iriador's issue today.) I'm using this meme, but not using the actual template because I didn't want to be restricted. ^^; I'm just drawing each thing into my sketchbook, and I'll probably attach them to the template eventually.

At some point tomorrow, I'll have to get some Tylenol for the sinus issue. I guess that's what it is.

I cannot get away from the first part of this song. I lose interest at the French part because it lacks the energy of the first and last parts, but I'm loving this song. Forgot how much I liked Muse. Pianos FTW.

I keep replaying this part of the Hetalia dub. (It's missing a short part between the two scenes of Romano beating Italy's head against his; don't know why the uploader cut it out, as it wasn't that long...) Germany was disappointed. XD I should've brought the DVDs with me! When I go home for a few days next month, I'm totally bringing them back with me. The original script's awesome, but the dub. Oh god, the dub. <3 They need to release the third volume already. Like, shut up and take my money.
meitantei_cj: (APH - America - Ugh)
2011-09-17 02:09 pm

Worst. Two. Days. Ever.

So yesterday, I developed a cold. This is because the temperature dropped a good 20-30 degrees between Wednesday and Thursday, and I rushed out to class without looking at the weather widget on my desktop, so I was wearing short sleeves and my thin hoodie. All day. Because at that point it was Thursday, and Thursday is my no-time-to-do-anything day, which meant I came upstairs after religion and CS, dropped off my laptop, and ran back out to the studio. I think, between that, lack of good sleep, and the fire alarm being set off at around 9pm because one of the guys burned popcorn and forcing everyone to wait outside in no clothes for ten minutes, I woke up yesterday not feeling quite right. But I'd already skipped a set of Friday classes, last week, so I got up and went. By the time I got home two hours later, I was ready to die. -_- I talked on the phone with Mom (the laptop will be fixed during winter break) and Craig, and decided I needed a nap. I don't recall exactly what time this was. I think I ended up getting off the phone at two-something. I didn't wake up until almost seven. (My first thought: "Well, so much for going to Art Alliance's first meeting." Which was at 5pm.) Emma went to a dance show they had at the theater, and I stayed behind because I knew I'd be a sniffling, coughing, miserable mess, and ended up missing what was probably a great show. (Keigwin + Company, I believe, is the name.) Emma thankfully went back out to party, so I was left alone to work on homework. Eventually that turned into a marathon session of HetaOni watching. New obsession. I'm torn between being patient for the author to upload new episodes, because she is from Japan and they had/have a lot to deal with after the quake and tsunami, and ripping my hair out. It's that good. But anyway.

And TODAY. Oh gods, today. Today sucks.

My body's been acting really strangely lately, I think because of the stress of a new environment or schoolwork or something. Long story short, and being vague (but not vague enough--TMI, menfolk), something was supposed to get here early this week. Something started to come two weeks early and then disappeared. Then it showed up again, and disappeared. It did this three times. I've been wasting supplies because I didn't know when it would come back. Guess when it came back, with a freaking vengeance? And the extremely aggravating thing is, because it wasn't normal this time, I have no idea what day I'm on. It's been on and off for two weeks. I'd guess (hope) and say four. With my luck? One.

So, I'm sitting in bed, sniffling and achy, waiting for painkillers to kick in, and hoping that MAYBE this crap will go away so I can actually get some work done. What I have to do at the studio is going to take several days, and I have to have it done by Thursday morning's class, which is not my class, but the one before it... which really means I need to have it done by sometime Wednesday. Also have a math project that I forgot about, that I've had for a week now, that's due this coming Friday. And I have lots of studying to do for tests this week, and I'm in the process of rewriting that religion paper. CJ is a sad bunny right now. CJ would rather be drawing or writing at the moment. ._. I might actually do a little of that a little later. Right now, religion paper. I need a good one and a half more pages of material, I think. I wish we didn't have to write it from the student's point of view. It's so alien to me. ^^; I am happy to be in bed, though. I'd rather be sitting in my bed than on a hard chair, or worse, one of the stools in the studio. My back does not like those things at all, and because I'm always looking down at my work surface, I get serious low back pains when working in there. I wish they had a chair that could sit as high as the stools do; I could use something with back support.

Plus side? CS homework is done. Programs weren't all that difficult. Although I did have a bit of an issue with the outputs. We had to write a program to ask the user "Is it raining?" and "Is it freezing?" and give four outputs based on the answers: "Oh rainy day" for rain but no cold, "Oh cold day" for cold but no rain, "Oh great snow" for both, and "Oh sunny day" for neither. I could get every output to work but "Oh great snow". When I removed the first part of the if statements (the "raining" part), it worked. So, as a workaround, I just moved the bit to display "Oh great snow" to the top of the if-else part of the program, and it works. Prof didn't say that part has to be written into the program in order (yay, loopholes!), and I'll explain it to him if he asks (at which point he'll look at it, tell me exactly what was the matter, and I'll slap my head and feel like an idiot). What matters, I think, are that the outputs work, and they do. It's probably something very simple that I'm missing, but I couldn't work it out. And originally I had three boolean variables (which was part of my trying to fix the output problem--I added an extra boolean for snowing), but then I looked at the assignment again and realized I could only have two. Removing the snowing boolean didn't affect the program at all, so it's something with the order. For some reason, if I put "raining" first, it doesn't connect raining + freezing to equal snowing. But ANYWAY, screw it, the outputs work. More important things to deal with!

Later, if I feel better, I am totally going to Weis and picking up some chocolate syrup. I've been able to have chocolate milk, but out of a machine. I need some real chocolate milk. And maybe a thing of ice cream. I totally want some ice cream that's not in one of those huge tubs that I have to break my arm scooping out of. ^^; I might get more of those small Stouffer's lasagnas, too. I had one last night, because I skipped breakfast (as usual) and didn't go to lunch because I didn't feel like going back out, and missed dinner due to sleeping... and I figured I had to eat something, so I finally took one of the lasagnas out of the freezer and nuked it. The small one's actually better than the 21-oz one. The smaller one has more types of cheese, I think.

Okay. Back to work. I am determined to get the religion paper and my math homework out of the way today so I can focus on starting the math project and glazing my teapot. And studying for tests.