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England, Day Six
Feb. 14th, 2005 11:53 am... hasn't actually happened yet.
We're going back out to London today so I can get some items for family and select coworkers... and after that, I have no idea what else to do. ^^; I know I want to be back somewhat early so Tony and I can walk around for a bit.
I worry about he and I. It's probably just a matter of not wanting to eventually end up hurting him for whatever reason, and the fact that I can't shake the feeling that I will... and with my not knowing at all what I'm going to do this year about moving up to PA, it doesn't exactly make things easy.
I'm scared of the concept of being involved again. (If that's the word I'm looking for.) Part of me wonders if it's even a good idea, having met him in person and now having to be apart for who knows how long. It's not like the other situation--I'd never physically met HIM before, I was used to waiting. I don't know what to do. Maybe it's best to just leave it and just keep in touch... so something slightly more than friendship can be there, but without the pressure.
Bah. I'm stupid. Anyway. ^^; No matter what, though, we're definitely keeping in touch.
I wish I'd brought the bigger suitcase with me... Lots of items will be bought back, and I could really use the extra space. I'll have two carry-on bags though, so that's okay at least. And maybe this time, when I go through airport security and have to take off my sneakers to get them checked, the officer will hand them to me instead of making me go get them (and get scolded) like in New York. 9_9
Part of me is glad to go home. I really miss the family, and the little things that make my neighborhood (much as I complain about it), and some of the snacks that are either hard to come by here or totally nonexistant. This has been really fun, though. I'm glad I met Jamie and Tony, they're excellent people. And finally getting to meet Dean... he and I haven't talked as much as with the other two, but I think he explained it well this morning. We've known each other for so long, we've basically said everything that needs to be said. In my case, when we haven't talked, there's been a kind of comfortable silence over us. I'd rather it be comfortable than not, really. I get like that... if I feel comfortable, I won't really try to break the silence. I'll just bask in it.
I've rambled on enough now, I think... we'll probably be heading off to London soon for me to go broke (XD;;), so posted this shall be. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!
We're going back out to London today so I can get some items for family and select coworkers... and after that, I have no idea what else to do. ^^; I know I want to be back somewhat early so Tony and I can walk around for a bit.
I worry about he and I. It's probably just a matter of not wanting to eventually end up hurting him for whatever reason, and the fact that I can't shake the feeling that I will... and with my not knowing at all what I'm going to do this year about moving up to PA, it doesn't exactly make things easy.
I'm scared of the concept of being involved again. (If that's the word I'm looking for.) Part of me wonders if it's even a good idea, having met him in person and now having to be apart for who knows how long. It's not like the other situation--I'd never physically met HIM before, I was used to waiting. I don't know what to do. Maybe it's best to just leave it and just keep in touch... so something slightly more than friendship can be there, but without the pressure.
Bah. I'm stupid. Anyway. ^^; No matter what, though, we're definitely keeping in touch.
I wish I'd brought the bigger suitcase with me... Lots of items will be bought back, and I could really use the extra space. I'll have two carry-on bags though, so that's okay at least. And maybe this time, when I go through airport security and have to take off my sneakers to get them checked, the officer will hand them to me instead of making me go get them (and get scolded) like in New York. 9_9
Part of me is glad to go home. I really miss the family, and the little things that make my neighborhood (much as I complain about it), and some of the snacks that are either hard to come by here or totally nonexistant. This has been really fun, though. I'm glad I met Jamie and Tony, they're excellent people. And finally getting to meet Dean... he and I haven't talked as much as with the other two, but I think he explained it well this morning. We've known each other for so long, we've basically said everything that needs to be said. In my case, when we haven't talked, there's been a kind of comfortable silence over us. I'd rather it be comfortable than not, really. I get like that... if I feel comfortable, I won't really try to break the silence. I'll just bask in it.
I've rambled on enough now, I think... we'll probably be heading off to London soon for me to go broke (XD;;), so posted this shall be. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!
