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meitantei_cjYou know, I realized something on the train ride home. (So, yeah, obviously I skipped class today. I felt miserable.)
May have to stick with this job, I know I mentioned that. Rent and everything else is too much for Mom to handle on her own. She shops for two homes (because Dad's on a fixed income and that's being spent paying bills), pays most of the rent, pays for the car insurance, the cable bill, her own bills from whatever cards she might have. Unforunately I've gotten myself into a bad position. If I don't stick with this job, I'll have to find one that pays the same, which means I'll most likely end up doing what I do now.
And if I'm going to be ending my days with migraines and eye pain, I'm not forcing myself to go to school two, three nights a week to get back home late. I'm just not. I know that. The job is the cause of the headaches and I should work on that first, but I need the money right now (which is the trap people fall into, right?).
So, I told Mom I'm going to look into online classes. What I'd take classes in, I don't know. Everything with me's been art, but I'm starting to wonder if I should just try to find something else to do and keep art as an outlet, even though I want something I can enjoy and look forward to doing every day. I don't want to be another cog in the machine. But maybe trying to be so different isn't a good thing. Besides, just drawing stuff and sticking it up on dA? I'm good enough for that. Actually making a living off my drawing? I'm not at all good enough for that, and I'm not confident enough.
Because I have no idea what to actually pursue, I went to the continuing education section of Brooklyn College's website to look at the online classes there. They have a partnership with a group called Education2Go. Most, if not all, of the classes I've seen are $150 or less and six weeks long, two lessons a week, with quizzes and a final, and there's a two-week grace period at the end in case you miss anything. The classes at BMCC (since I started looking at various CUNY schools' online offerings) are less money than that, even for the same classes BC's program offers... I guess because they're a community college. I might take a few and see if anything grabs me. (I already saw a writing course I want to take, and if I like it, there's a second part to it.) At that amount of money, I won't be upset if a course ends up being something I don't want to pursue. And maybe something will click, and I can go for an actual degree in something. The goal for me at this point is to gain some kind of direction, because I was sitting at work today and realized I feel absolutely, completely aimless.
Mom said she's thought about taking some online courses. I'm going to show her the website, and we'll see how far her thoughts go. She can afford this.
The only thing with these classes is, you only get a certificate of completion once you're done. Maybe I could use them, though. I could probably use the certificate I got for the audio engineering classes if I knew what the hell I was doing. 9_9;;
Unrelated: My luck with scratch-off tickets continues. I cashed in everything I had (kept the $50, because I'm not giving $50 back for more tickets. That's insane. It also kept me from having to go to the bank.) and got two Mother's Days and three Great 8s with the remaining $13. The guy gave me the Great 8s. I hate that game, I've never seen anyone win even a dollar on it. Needless to say, that was $3 lost, but I did win $10 on a Mother's Day game, which means I got the money back for those two tickets. So, I still have $10 in my bag and might get something else tomorrow. Or maybe I'll hold on to it. I'd still have the $63 if it weren't for not wanting to go to the bank.
Anyway. I'm done rambling now. I'm tired and going to bed. Everyone will be back at work tomorrow, and I have to have one of the guys go over the whole CONNECTIONS business with me. Maybe I can have my cases done by the meeting. Probably not, since I can't view the vast majority of them, but maybe.
May have to stick with this job, I know I mentioned that. Rent and everything else is too much for Mom to handle on her own. She shops for two homes (because Dad's on a fixed income and that's being spent paying bills), pays most of the rent, pays for the car insurance, the cable bill, her own bills from whatever cards she might have. Unforunately I've gotten myself into a bad position. If I don't stick with this job, I'll have to find one that pays the same, which means I'll most likely end up doing what I do now.
And if I'm going to be ending my days with migraines and eye pain, I'm not forcing myself to go to school two, three nights a week to get back home late. I'm just not. I know that. The job is the cause of the headaches and I should work on that first, but I need the money right now (which is the trap people fall into, right?).
So, I told Mom I'm going to look into online classes. What I'd take classes in, I don't know. Everything with me's been art, but I'm starting to wonder if I should just try to find something else to do and keep art as an outlet, even though I want something I can enjoy and look forward to doing every day. I don't want to be another cog in the machine. But maybe trying to be so different isn't a good thing. Besides, just drawing stuff and sticking it up on dA? I'm good enough for that. Actually making a living off my drawing? I'm not at all good enough for that, and I'm not confident enough.
Because I have no idea what to actually pursue, I went to the continuing education section of Brooklyn College's website to look at the online classes there. They have a partnership with a group called Education2Go. Most, if not all, of the classes I've seen are $150 or less and six weeks long, two lessons a week, with quizzes and a final, and there's a two-week grace period at the end in case you miss anything. The classes at BMCC (since I started looking at various CUNY schools' online offerings) are less money than that, even for the same classes BC's program offers... I guess because they're a community college. I might take a few and see if anything grabs me. (I already saw a writing course I want to take, and if I like it, there's a second part to it.) At that amount of money, I won't be upset if a course ends up being something I don't want to pursue. And maybe something will click, and I can go for an actual degree in something. The goal for me at this point is to gain some kind of direction, because I was sitting at work today and realized I feel absolutely, completely aimless.
Mom said she's thought about taking some online courses. I'm going to show her the website, and we'll see how far her thoughts go. She can afford this.
The only thing with these classes is, you only get a certificate of completion once you're done. Maybe I could use them, though. I could probably use the certificate I got for the audio engineering classes if I knew what the hell I was doing. 9_9;;
Unrelated: My luck with scratch-off tickets continues. I cashed in everything I had (kept the $50, because I'm not giving $50 back for more tickets. That's insane. It also kept me from having to go to the bank.) and got two Mother's Days and three Great 8s with the remaining $13. The guy gave me the Great 8s. I hate that game, I've never seen anyone win even a dollar on it. Needless to say, that was $3 lost, but I did win $10 on a Mother's Day game, which means I got the money back for those two tickets. So, I still have $10 in my bag and might get something else tomorrow. Or maybe I'll hold on to it. I'd still have the $63 if it weren't for not wanting to go to the bank.
Anyway. I'm done rambling now. I'm tired and going to bed. Everyone will be back at work tomorrow, and I have to have one of the guys go over the whole CONNECTIONS business with me. Maybe I can have my cases done by the meeting. Probably not, since I can't view the vast majority of them, but maybe.
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Date: 2008-03-29 04:50 am (UTC)