Ugh.

Tired, had a bad morning, have a headache, and it's only just past noon. And I don't get home tonight until around 9:30-10pm. I also didn't get a chance to get that brown paper Ivan mentioned. We have some somewhere, I just don't know where. Hoping everyone didn't run out and get the stuff so I'm not the only one still using a newsprint pad. I'll get it this weekend. Would've gotten it last weekend if the weather hadn't blown up.

Used my "buy 3, Take Five" coupon for a couple extra Take Five games, and the guy downstairs accidentally gave me the coupon back when he was done. I think he didn't notice I played the numbers I picked for three days. Whatever, I got my freebies and can now get two more freebies, so pbbbt.

Sigh. Is it Friday yet?

This is my last official three-day weekend until the end of May. That is depressing. I don't like this time of year.

Okay, no, screw that.

Earl wanted me to help out at some center in Brooklyn. (Writing down questions people ask regarding Earl & Co.'s presentation. WHY they need me to do that, I have no idea. They're intelligent people--although I have my problems with Earl--and they're perfectly capable of writing things down and could even make notes I wouldn't know to make. And apparently they've gotten along fine without me for two days.) I e-mailed him yesterday (since I was on jury duty Monday) and told him I could help today and Friday, and asked what time I should get there and what time we might be coming back to this office. (Had to know since today I have a late day and Friday I'd be concerned with catching the bus. I didn't really have to worry about missing either thing, but regarding today, I could've possibly left my portfolio home, which would've made getting to work this morning less of a hassle. Portfolio in one hand + umbrella in the other + messenger back constantly slipping off shoulder = NO.)

Earl never responded. I'm sure he can access his e-mail from home. Thing is, not only did he never respond to the e-mail, he never called. NONE of them called. So I'm sitting here in the office and generally not caring, because obvious they're fine.

Except Kwesi comes over and starts bothering me about it. "I would think they'd be expecting you over there." He gives me Fofie's number (which I didn't have) after calling her, she calls him back while he's away from his desk, I answer his line and she says they don't need me. Uh, duh.

And speak of the devil, Earl just replied to the e-mail. He said I can go over there on Friday if I want, but they have it under control, so it's not a big deal if I don't show up.

So now I'm trying to decide whether or not I should go over there on Friday. I have a feeling I could leave after the 3:30 teleconference, so maybe I could catch an earlier bus. But I already pretty much knew they didn't need me. If they did, they'd have called me. ONE of them has to remember my extension, and if they don't, they remember Kwesi's and could have called him. But no one did, and if they needed me and just didn't bother to call, then that'd be irresponsible of them. But it's a moot point anyway, because they don't need me.

Another case of boss butting in, and I'm starting to wonder if this isn't a case of "She's not doing anything, give her something to do!". Not my fault this place is dead. I'll order some supplies, that should make him happy. Needs to be done anyway.

SIGH. Still have a headache. Took Excedrin earlier (around the time of the previous entry) thinking it might be a migraine and it's not helping. 9_9;

Having major anxiety issues right now.

Would like to go home. There's a very large part of me wanting to ditch this place and not bother with class and just go home. I've been feeling miserable for an hour and a half now. My stomach hurts and I feel like I'm shaking. My hand was physically shaking before. Not sure if it is now. I haven't had a pen in my hand in a while and can't tell if i'm not writing.

Stop now please, kthnx.

So I did really well in class today.

We worked with (*breath*) a conch on a wooden rectangle beside a scarf and a plant under a WHITE umbrella this time. On a table, of course. This time, when I drew, Ivan didn't have to give me any pointers. The first time he walked by, he said it was a good start, and then I was adding the white of the umbrella and we got told to display our work (someone like my drawing again, yay), he said he thought it would look great when I was finished with it. The second time he walked by, I was finishing up on the umbrella and had cropped the image a bit, and he said I could sign and date it (his way of saying "perfect, you're done") and draw something else. Everyone else, when they got to that point, drew the still life again in a different style or from a different angle, but I chose to draw something different. I drew one of my classmates drawing. XD; It was a small drawing, but I was pleased with it, and Ivan liked it a lot and told me once again to sign and date it, and try to work on someone's head. I had some trouble there. I cannot do realistic faces well. Objects and bodies I can do, but not faces. ^^; But it was fun. I did feel like an ass when we displayed our work again and I put up my picture of the girl (although Ivan told me to) when everyone else put up finished still life drawings. He actually ended up talking about my picture last, saying we'll be working with models soon.

Productive evening, I have to say. And I found the downtown 6 station, yay! Much faster than having to take the train uptown one stop and come back.

Talked to Mom at around 4pm, still in the middle of the anxiety attack. I got told I'm way too hard on myself and I'll get things done because I have the drive now. (Nothing to kick you into gear like a job you hate, huh?) She doesn't think I'm a failure. I didn't really think she did, but she felt the need to say it because I've said to her that I feel like one. She knows I messed up in BC and my GPA isn't going to be good enough to get me into Binghamton (although I did NOT tell her exactly how low it is--that she does not need to know). She's fine with it. She gave me options on what to do next. I think she's still trying to steer me toward keeping this job while I go to school, but we'll work on that. Like I said, another job. Not this one. It was good to talk to her though. It got me out of the office for ten minutes and while I didn't really calm down, it was good to talk.

Federal rebates are coming in May! Around my birthday, please. Hear that, government? My birthday's the 10th.

Anyway. Because I didn't have dinner, I'm going to get something to nibble on before I go to bed. I'm tired and I still have two days left.

Oh, and Craig's grades have gone up. He's been doing his work. Mom said something about him being at an 86 average now. This means he'll get to play games this weekend, which means possibly having to fight him for the 360 so I can play Every Extend Extra Extreme. R4 mode for the win. It's repetitive as hell, but I love it anyway. He did get me to like Undertow, so maybe I can watch him play that. (BTW, Microsoft, thank you for not giving everyone a crappy free game. I have a little more respect for you now.)