The funniest opening sentence ever.

Part of me wishes it was actually part of a book. Then again, that part of me is a masochist. XD; From the winners page of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (where the point is to write the worst opening sentence ever to a story):

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.

--Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York (1986 Winner)

Posting because I'll forget if I don't do it now. ^_^;

EDIT: I TAKE IT BACK XDDDD

Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit molding her body, which was as warm as the seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven--fueled by a single accelerant--and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the right road, a man like Alf Romeo.

--Rachel E. Sheeley, Williamsburg, Indiana (1988 Winner)

Oh, just take the link to the page: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners

So, I'm breaking the no-spending rule.

Just this once.

Craig's birthday--his 15th--is a week from Sunday. Way back when he was in school, I told him I'd get him a DS Lite if his grades were good. That was before we found out his grades were crap. Needless to say, no Lite.

Since his grades improved dramatically after he got his butt in gear, and he needs a new system anyway, I'm going to buy him an Onyx Lite. Mom and I are going to take my coins to a bank up in PA, and I'll use a good chunk of that money to pay for it. Money still stays in my checking account until next week, when I'll transfer some of what's left before I get paid to savings.

He's not getting the system until his birthday. When he does, I'm going to tell him I bought it using the spare change I saved up. He knows how much a Lite is. If that doesn't convince him to start saving his money, nothing will, hehe. I keep trying to get him to do it.

(no subject)

Why do people upload soundtracks/CDs and keep the folder-within-a-folder? 9_9

Nyao, I'm going to sleep now. Tired CJ needs to be awake tomorrow. Not that anything's happening, mind you, but it won't do me any good to be falling asleep at the desk while I do nothing (or very little, at least).

Tomorrow's Friday. Kwesi may leave early.

Oh, and I wonder about Alyce. I think she honestly expected me to do it when she came over at four or so today and said, "Tell [Kwesi] to go home." She repeated it a couple times. I think she really expected me to do it. This because she was annoyed he was still in the office. She's just as bad as he is, see. He's the boss, he has an excuse (sort of) for coming in late and skipping out early. She just thinks she's entitled to the privilege. The second she knows he's gone, SHE's gone. And she keeps rolling her eyes about the fact that he's still in the office when she wants to leave. I've gotta be about half her age, and I'm not that childish.