Illustrations ain't happening.
Apr. 13th, 2013 02:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meitantei_cjOne thing I failed to notice about myself before starting to draw this thing: I draw slowly. If they're sketches for me, I'm a little faster, but if they're drawings that people are going to see, I crawl, because I'm a perfectionist who can't work fast. There is no way I'm going to draw these pictures, and besides that, motivation to do so is completely nonexistent. Like, I'm not drawing this stuff for me, I'm drawing it for a video project I couldn't give a crap about. SO, I have to once again figure out how to abstract this whole thing (since it's the memory of a 2nd-grade me and I don't have the luxury of doing things literally).
I'm tired and I don't care. I just want one day where I have nothing to do and nothing due. I'm drained.
Mom said she thinks I have a Type A personality and it's not in my nature, so it affects me far more than it should. She said I'm very intense. I'm not sure she really gets exactly how much I have to do and why I've been so intense lately. Like, every single day from now until next Thursday, I'm busy. And I'm not like everyone else here, I can't stay up all hours of the night working on stuff. People stay in the studio until three in the morning. I can't function if I do that.
I guess the one good thing is that I got the music for the small-group recording done, and now I've just got to get through mixing... but I don't know when I'll get to complete that. I mean, it has to be before I leave next Friday. I'm meeting with the group (probably minus Dimitri) on Monday, and if it doesn't get done then, it won't get done unless either Jeannine or Duncan finishes it up. But like, tomorrow I have to run tours and then I have a late firing shift (which hopefully they'll call or text and be like, "Hey, everything's fine here, you don't have to come!"). Sunday needs to be devoted to filming the video. Monday is devoted to DAP/editing the video. By Tuesday I need to have two rolls of film shot so I can process and print to give stuff to Monika Wednesday. All the while I have to be working on drawing myself for a self-portrait for ceramics, and making a frame that's supposed to incorporate patterns I'm supposed to make that represent my moods.
And my left hand hurts because I was making the last seven bowls, and the clay Kitty and I made is STUPIDLY stiff (at least for me), and the combination of pushing the clay around with my fingers, stretching my hand to do so, and the repetitive motions was not a good thing.
I honestly don't know what to do right now. I wish I could just drop one thing. And unfortunately I've mentioned the stress to two professors (Hannah and Bethany) and neither of them seem to really care, so there is no chance of me getting a pass on anything.
I'm tired and I don't care. I just want one day where I have nothing to do and nothing due. I'm drained.
Mom said she thinks I have a Type A personality and it's not in my nature, so it affects me far more than it should. She said I'm very intense. I'm not sure she really gets exactly how much I have to do and why I've been so intense lately. Like, every single day from now until next Thursday, I'm busy. And I'm not like everyone else here, I can't stay up all hours of the night working on stuff. People stay in the studio until three in the morning. I can't function if I do that.
I guess the one good thing is that I got the music for the small-group recording done, and now I've just got to get through mixing... but I don't know when I'll get to complete that. I mean, it has to be before I leave next Friday. I'm meeting with the group (probably minus Dimitri) on Monday, and if it doesn't get done then, it won't get done unless either Jeannine or Duncan finishes it up. But like, tomorrow I have to run tours and then I have a late firing shift (which hopefully they'll call or text and be like, "Hey, everything's fine here, you don't have to come!"). Sunday needs to be devoted to filming the video. Monday is devoted to DAP/editing the video. By Tuesday I need to have two rolls of film shot so I can process and print to give stuff to Monika Wednesday. All the while I have to be working on drawing myself for a self-portrait for ceramics, and making a frame that's supposed to incorporate patterns I'm supposed to make that represent my moods.
And my left hand hurts because I was making the last seven bowls, and the clay Kitty and I made is STUPIDLY stiff (at least for me), and the combination of pushing the clay around with my fingers, stretching my hand to do so, and the repetitive motions was not a good thing.
I honestly don't know what to do right now. I wish I could just drop one thing. And unfortunately I've mentioned the stress to two professors (Hannah and Bethany) and neither of them seem to really care, so there is no chance of me getting a pass on anything.
